I have no bestie and I’m sure I’m not the only one. I’d shout and lie that Jesus is my bestie but you know the kind of bestie I’m talking about. One you party with, travel with, tell all your secrets, figure life out and more. So I don’t know how I’m supposed to party with Jesus. The reason I avoid having a bestie better known as ‘ride or die' friends is cause I saw my mum’s bestie take her to absolute poverty. This lady asked my mum to sell her salon to a customer she’d met at a bad price. My mum was in a bad place and at the time I was actually at home after being sent from school to get school fees. Mum was breaking from the inside so she sold the her salon to this new 'client’. The bestie had already set up a business plan for my mum. They were to start a banana selling business and yooooooo you should have heard my mum tell the family about the ladies she’d met who were in this banana business. My grandparents looked at her like a crazy person. Who chooses to move from owning a good salon -a classy one- to sitting by the road side under a coca-cola promotion umbrella with a wheelbarrow full of bananas? Who?

My grandparents were not wrong in a way. This idea was driving my mum bananas -pun intended-. You’ll notice that I quoted client above. If you guessed it right then you guessed who the client who bought my mum’s salon was, HER BEST FRIEND. Yes. She did that. She asked someone to act like a foreign person wanting to buy the salon. And she succeded in doing so. My mum got her peanuts and started selling bananas. Good blend if you ask me, peanuts and bananas juice😋. Mother never made 100/= from this banana business. She infact had to throw away her first stock. It didn’t work. The bestie friend who was her banana business idea plug was now owning the salon she was once an employee in. Now you get where my having a bestie fear originates from.

I sometimes feel like I’m missing out. Like I’m too backward. And yes, in some ways I am. I’m never aware of what’s trending unless I take time to check twitter. Most times I feel too old for my age. Tell you what, I’m a mom to an amazing baby but on days where I need some to help me baby sit her, I start wishing I had a sister.

I once decided to get a bestie and be like everyone else. It ended in premium tears. This friend used to judge me throughout my insecurities conversations. She was a staunch christian and made my life a little hard. I on a number of times shared that my relationship wasn't working and I was thinking of leaving and starting a new life. She'd scripture my thoughts like a shredder. Tear every piece of them with bible verses and dos and don'ts. She'd always remind me that I'm a married woman -married because I had my boyfriend's child- and that marriage should work. Loooord!

I tried so many times to remind her that I’d invite her to my wedding if I chose to get married and I remember her one day saying, "That is why God is against sex before marriage. Look at you now. You don’t even know if you are married or not." She said a lot of things but this is what caught my attention. Yes I was flaud. Yes I had made mistakes and I had proof. But why was judgement day coming before death? She should have waited till death atleast. Anyway, you now know why the idea of bestie scares me. It’s not my thing. I have friends. I just don’t have besties.

My partner joked and said that my wedding bride's maid will be a man. I laughed and said, "Itakua mambo Beard."

Please get the pun.😏
God bless.

Performing Poet - Author